askinnyblackman:

things i used to laugh at

  • actual jokes

things i laugh at now

  • yard sard

mom: can you do me a favor?

me: will you pay me?

mom: why do i have to pay you to do me a favor?

me: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.

tobyjones:

Comics

tobyjones:

Comics

416,530 plays

liteskint:

vinegod:

When you wait for your parents to get in a good mood to ask them for somethin by RayRay Durant

my whole life in 6 seconds wow

runningjulez:

this is me every 3 hours

784,985 plays

pastel-purgatory:

bargainchild:

peachie-prince:

What

did she fuckin stutter

I have a mighty need to know what this group is called

technicolourprincess:

whenever someone on tumblr says “I’m posting this because no one’s awake so no one will see it”, i look outside my window at the beautiful sunny day outside. it is mid afternoon. the Australians will always be awake and ready for your 3am shame posts

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.

Dalai Lama (via thecalminside)

If the signs were mythological creatures:

Aries: Werewolf

Taurus: Hell hound

Gemini: Doppelgänger

Cancer: Banshee

Leo: Fairy

Virgo: Angel

Libra: Nymph

Scorpio: Siren

Sagittarius: Ghost

Capricorn: Mermaid

Aquarius: Vampire

Pisces: Shapeshifter